Friday, July 31, 2009

Should I watch Rambo: First Blood Part 1?

The long and short of it: Yes
When was it made: 1982

Based on a book by David Morrell, First Blood was directed by Ted Kotcheff and is quite honestly not what I expected. I haven't seen the rest of the series, but I had gotten the impression that all Rambo movies were about a sweaty Sylvester Stallone stalking the steamy subtropics (sorry, I'll cease) slaughtering (ok, for reals this time) Viet Cong and waving his American phallus for all the world to see. I haven't seen the rest of the series, but this movie is almost the exact opposite of that (well, he does stalk sweatily). Instead we see a Vietnam veteran just trying to survive in the world he fought to protect in the only way he knows how.

If you've seen a parody of an action movie, than you've seen a man with a bandanna and a machine gun striding shirtless and shooting down enemies of America without getting a scratch-this is a parody of Rambo, though definitely from the later films. The name, if not necessarily the movie, is ubiquitous enough that it has entered the vernacular. In addition Sly Stallone has just recently starred in a new Rambo movie, which may call a few peoples attention back to the original.

The movie has been accused of glorifying violence, but I disagree. There is violence in this movie, make no mistake, but almost all of it is shown in a more serious light. This is not like 300, whose appeal is derived solely from getting to watch 1800 abdominal muscles slaughter Persians. The violence can be a bit unrealistic, but it is not obvious or laughable, just touched up to make the movie more exciting. But in reality, the entire movie is only setting a stage for the final scene-you don't get the final scene without the rest of the movie, but this would be a dumb action flick without the ending. If you want to see a good move that deals with a pertinent issue but that is still enjoyable and exciting, then you need to see First Blood.

I thought the movie was great. I went in expecting something entirely different, but I still got what I wanted. I actually feel a bit guilty-I wanted to see Sylvester Stallone gunning and gutting, killing everyone in his path. I wanted a good ole' action flick. But seeing the characters interact and showing the negative consequences that the respective characters blood lust has made me feel bad for craving that violence. Quite honestly Stallone's last scene really changed the whole movie for me-it's hard to write an opinion for the whole movie because that last scene colored the whole thing for me. But it is probably the best acting I have ever seen Stallone do, and is one of the most powerful scenes I have ever watched. To be quite honest, First Blood is a must watch if only to hear his closing speech and every person who ever mistreated a veteran should be required to watch it.

Thursday, July 30, 2009

Should I watch the original Red vs Blue?

The long and short of it: Yes
When was it made: Started in 2003, new series are still made

Made by Rooster Teeth (yeah, if you didn't already know this is not the most intellectually sophisticated property) using games from the Halo series, Red vs Blue follows two sets of incompetent soldiers as they blindly stumble through improbable situations with only their snappy comebacks and swearing to protect them. While the first few episodes suffer from poor sound quality and some long silences, pretty soon things pick up and hilarity ensues almost constantly; out of 100 episodes-the majority of which are only 5 minutes, so don't worry about this taking your life away-I can't find one that doesn't make me laugh.

If you've seen one show made with video games, odds are it was Red vs Blue. It is by far the most famous machinima(movie made with a video game) out there, having made machinima popular before most people even knew it existed. Red vs Blue is also the most successful, making Rooster Teeth into a successful company. Unlike most shows of this kind, Red vs Blue is well shot, has good voice acting, and is well written and timed, making it one of the only machinima worth watching.

Red vs Blue is incredibly hilarious, but the original series is a bit lacking in the plot department. Not that there isn't a story, but it is so convoluted that you shouldn't worry about it, just get the laughs. Now these are adults using adult language, so this isn't for younger people or those offended by swearing. If you're looking for a hilarious comedy with no real thinking required, then watch RvB. If you want a good story and hate swearing, the original series isn't for you, though the newer RvB series have more story to them and are just as hilarious.

I am a big Red vs Blue fanboy, I'll admit. I try to watch every episode, and I have seen most of Rooster Teeth's other stuff too. It really is a great series, and the 5 minute episodes allow you to watch an episode or two even if you're crunched for time. Also, while there is a bit of slapstick and visual humor, a lot of the gags are character or conversation driven, so it makes great background noise, too. There are so many good characters, but for me the funniest will always be Caboose. Tucker's "lady's man" attitude and Sarge's bloodlust are both well played, but Caboose's innocent stupidity-of which he is oddly aware-allows him some of the funniest moments, like when he avoids a pregnant character because "I do not want to catch pregnancy!" The original series is also on YouTube, so there really is no excuse not to at least try the show. I'm sure you'll love it.

Wednesday, July 29, 2009

Should I read Inferno by Dante?

The long and short of it: Probably
When was it made: Early 14th century

Written by Dante Alighieri, Inferno (Hell) is the first book in the Divine Comedy. The Divine Comedy is an allegorical poem about the redemption of man, following Dante himself as he is guided through Hell, Purgatory, and eventually Paradise. The first book follows his journey through Hell, showing souls in various states of punishment, all of which is explained to him by the Roman poet Virgil.

Inferno is the best known of the Divine Comedy-so much so that some people don't even know the other two works exist. Any western literature class will eventually cover it, and most people hold it as a badge of honor to have memorized certain lines or stanzas. There are references to the Inferno in almost everything, from the oft-quoted phrase "Abandon all hope, ye who enter here," to the names of the Four Fiends in Final Fantasy IV. They are even releasing an action game called Dante's Inferno: just a hunch, but I doubt it will be much like the eponymous work.

Being 700 years old and in Italian, most people will need to get a translated version. It is incredibly important to get a good translation with good notes to help explain the references to pop icons from the 1300s; I recommend the Penguin translations. Now, some people are put off by older books, and others find that the sight of verse sends them into a killing frenzy-I'd recommend trying it, but borrow it from somebody, don't by a copy. If you're looking for a good classical work with some cultural relevance or a fun allegory to bump up your knowledge of religion (be careful, though, the book isn't doctrine to any religion, just an interesting philosophical perspective)(man, I'm a literary fag) than read Inferno. If you are just a beginning reader or really can't stomach older works, than leave it alone for now.

I really loved Inferno, but this is the guy who thinks the Rig Veda is a fun read. It has several different ways to read it and each section has several different layers of understanding. It can be read as a political, social, or religious commentary, and that's only what I noticed. It is absolutely necessary to read the notes, otherwise the majority of the examples will mean nothing to you. The book had its fun moments to, but those are mostly unintentional results of bringing a work with a 1300 mindset to the modern times of political correctness, such as showing every good person who wasn't Christian in the first layer of Hell (there's a good reason and explanation, nevertheless they're in Hell). Overall though, the book has a serious tone, and from the gates to Judecca Dante's punishments are strangely just, giving us insight to the nature of man and of sin.

Tuesday, July 28, 2009

Should I play the original Final Fantasy?

The long and short of it: Probably not
When was it made: 1987 (Japanese release), 1990 (American release)

Developed by Squaresoft before it joined up with Enix to form SquareEnix, Final Fantasy was the first game in the Final Fantasy franchise (I would say series, but it has it's own line of drinks now, so, franchise). The game has defined RPGs for the last 20 years, establishing the concepts of parties, classes, and levels. Well, ripping them off is more accurate. The game plays very much like video D&D, going so far as having spell levels and spell slots, an interesting system that most future games have abandoned (even D&D has left it in the dust). While fun, this game suffers a lot of the problems of being a first: while the combat mechanics are mostly pretty solid, character interactions are far from complicated. The only time your characters names are even mentioned are in the menus, but at the time that didn't really matter.

The original Final Fantasy doesn't get too much hype, I'll admit. However, the main series is 12 games strong and still going and there are several side projects with multiple games under their belts. This legacy, combined with several remakes, has kindled a little curiosity into some as to what the original game was like, and whether they should play it.

First of all, unless you have a ton of money, you're best bet is to get a rom. The game still sells for 20-60 bucks used, quite a feat considering most NES games go for less than a dollar. Ooh, that reminds me, you'll need an NES too, though more and more independant companies are making new, better consoles that run older cartridge games for those people like me who never sold or threw away the old NES and SNES games. Now, this is an old game, and it runs a bit slow. Combat can get pretty tedious sometimes: to be honest, when I play a rom of this game the fast forward button is my greatest friend. Also, the graphics aren't that great, and because this is one of those older games, they don't tell you where to go. You have a mission, and an overall idea of what you're supposed to be doing, but you had better talk to everybody in town and be prepared to do a lot of exploring-the strategy guide can be your best friend, as can Let's Play videos on youtube (HCBailly is awesome, I'd watch his). So if you really like old games, and you're looking for one with a lot of walking and fighting to spend a good chunk of time on, get the original Final Fantasy. If you want a quick paced no brainer, must have good graphics, or hate older games in general, avoid this game.

Now I personally liked the game. But I am not everyone when it comes to these things. I don't mind sitting around for long periods of time and I don't usually get frustrated when I get stuck and have to go talk to everyone I've met to pick up a missing clue. That being said, most people shouldn't play it. It was great at the time, but a lot of its biggest flaws are those things that plague all older games. If you absolutely must play this game, I would actually recommend a remake. Personally I think FF: Origins is the best remake because it updates a lot of the flaws by improving combat speed, graphics, and dialogue, while leaving the game at it's core mostly untouched. It is still pretty difficult and requires some grinding. I would not recommend the GBA version because they replaced the spell slot system with a MP system, making you able to use way more spells, which then had to be nerfed, and making most of the monsters very pathetic. Those were actually my favorite moments in the original game, when I'd save my Black Mage's spells, rendering him practically useless for a lot of fights, and then a boss would appear and I'd unleash him, turning him from marginally useful to my biggest damage dealer. It really cheapens the experience by taking a game that's difficult in a fun way and making it super easy. So, to wrap this up, if you feel the need to see where it all started, find a copy of FF: Origins to get all the experience with far fewer of the problems.

Monday, July 27, 2009

Should I read Memoirs of a Geisha?

The long and short of it: Yes
When was it made: 1997

Written by Arthur Golden, Memoirs is a narrative from the first person perspective of a World War II era geisha named Sayuri. It offers a little inside view into the world of geisha and what they actually do-supposedly accurate, but as I am not a World War II geisha I can't confirm or deny that. Mr. Golden is a master of the first person-when combined with the nonexistent translator's note, it took me a while to remember that this was a work of fiction. The characters are realistic and human. They do bad things, and no one is portrayed as truly a saint or truly a demon-except maybe Hatsumomo, but I even ended up empathizing with her a tiny bit.

The book really jumped into the public eye with the release of the movie in 2005 (which had a surprising number of Chinese playing Japanese people). The movie won a few Oscars, which of course jumps up the popularity of the book. Part of this may be the recent American trend to worship all things Far Eastern, but the book stands well on its own, and though I loved the movie the book is far superior.

Now this is not an action book. There are no spies, no knights, no gladiators. The closest you come to action is a few beatings here and there. The book is much more subtle, where the action is found in a smile or a properly timed comment and not in bullet time or epic swordfights. There is also a bit of sex in the book-none of it graphic and none of it tagged on as fanservice-so kiddies beware. If you are looking for a good lighthearted fantasy book filled with swordfights and gunplay or are too young to see a PG-13 movie, keep on moving. If you are looking for an intelligent book to rope you up and keep you enthralled, find a copy of Memoirs of a Geisha (the fun thing about movie books is that there are copies floating around everywhere that people who hate to read but loved the movie bought on a whim, so they can be found for cheap).

I got this book on the 3rd of July. My parents were in town, and we were driving to a nearby town for a celebration-my parents got lost, and when we had finally found our way my father asked "why didn't you tell us we were about to go the wrong way?" all I could answer was "Because Chiyo had just made it to the Natta Okiya!" My nose was so deep in that book that it took the explosions and barbecue of the Independence Day to pull me away-and only then just barely. The characters felt real to me, and although it never brought me to tears it did managed to influence my emotions. The book has kind of a sad feel to it, and is a bit fatalistic, even though the end is technically happy. I have a lot of favorite moments, but one of the big ones occurs during Hatsumomo's breakdown when the blind musician, unaware of the somber mood, asks what just happened. The book is filled with witty banter, though, and it's the intelligence and fun to be found in this book that are definitely worth the read.

Saturday, July 25, 2009

Should I watch Alien?

The long and short of it: Most Likely
When was it made: 1979

Alien was directed by Ridley Scott and is one of the most well-known and often parodied monster movies. Let's start out with that: this is a monster movie, and a really good one at that. Taking place almost exclusively on the mining ship Nostromo. It takes advantage of humanity's inherent fear of enclosed spaces and of what we don't understand. This is not a slasher, and there is not gore sprayed around like beer at a kegger. It works much more on the principles of suspense with a few graphic moments which are thematically appropriate. The set up moves a bit slowly, as does the dénouement. However, the middle more than makes up for the ends.

As I mentioned before, Alien has been parodied an incredible amount of times, mostly due to its universality-most people have seen it. It spawned a series of four movies, and the titular characters have moved on to a new series called Aliens vs. Predator-for better or for worse. Almost anybody who sees this movie far the first time will have at least one joke they've seen in the past make more sense-Spaceballs, anyone?

Now, the movie raises a lot of questions and doesn't take much time to answer them. But those questions are the last thing on your mind once the action starts. It is well timed and well written, establishing realistic characters with whom it is possible to empathize. None of the characters are cardboard cutouts or cliches-not that there aren't some familiar characters, but I think they fall in the same boat as Gandolf being a stereotypical wizard:they fit the stereotype because the stereotype is based on them. So if you get nightmares easily or hate scary movies, then Alien might not be for you (and there are enough of these people to drop this from a "yes" in the long and short of it). If you don't mind a startle or two and like space monsters, make this your next movie.

I really liked this movie. There were scenes that were a bit less than interesting, but these were mostly the establishing scenes where we get to view the 1979 version of the future. I mean, yeah, the spaceship itself is very advanced, but the display monitors look like they were made in, well, 1979. But who cares about all that? Nobody, that's who, because the aliens are awesome and the suspense is handled very well. My favorite scene was the first attack: I was so involved that I had actually leaned forward in my chair and had my hands held up near my face in anticipation-and the scene actually managed to deliver, too. This is a very fun movie, so if you have movie night or party coming up, Alien should be somewhere on the queue.

Friday, July 24, 2009

Should I read Wanted?

The long and short of it: No
When was it made: 2003

Written by Frank Millar and illustrated by J.G. Jones, The Sunday Times said that Wanted was Watchmen for supervillains. The Sunday Times also said that Outland was Star Wars for cowboys (I doubt many people will understand that joke, but let me tell you it is both witty and sarcastic). I wouldn't say Wanted is horrible, but it isn't good either. After I had put it down, I simply went on to another book. It didn't raise any real issues that applied to me, and while the introductory concept was interesting you can't make an entire book out of a premise. You need to finish the rest of the story at some point in there. Going back to the Watchmen comment, let me just say this: Watchmen was written in 1986 and is still one of the most relevant works of fiction on the market; Wanted was written 17 years later and was barely relevant then.

Wanted has garnered some attention as mentioned above, but it became much more mainstream last summer when a movie was released with the same name. Some would say the movie was based on the book, but just because the main character shares a name and they both revolve around daddy issues of some kind does not a faithful translation make. The movie is entirely different: different plot, new characters, and better writing (at least it doesn't take itself as seriously as the comic does).

Now, as I said before, the book wasn't unreadable. But I feel I needed to come down extra hard because of all those fans who worship the ground the book walks on. It is filled with violence, sex, and swearing. It is very sophomoric in it's humor, with such award winning characters as a man made entirely of feces or a villainous phallus that forces it's "wielder" to perform his evil deeds. So, if you're looking for an inspiring or revolutionary work, or are considering reading it because you liked the movie, don't read it. If you're looking for a sophomoric book filled with the aforementioned sex, swearing, and violence (which, hey, everybody wants that every once in a while) than go ahead-I'd just recommend borrowing it until you know for sure you want to buy it.

Now, here's the deal: the problem I see with the book is that there is really no empathy or motivation for the horrible things the characters do in the book. They are merely a bunch of sociopaths doing evil deeds for evils sake- it doesn't even have the whole "non-anti-hero" satire that I love Lobo for. As Tycho from Penny Arcade put it, America isn't ready for a protagonist who is an unrepentant rapist. They try to give the characters some human attributes and make Wesley seem somewhat human, but it is too little to late, and completely contradicted by the last page in the book. I personally hated it when Wesley started getting his revenge: there's a line about how his super power is "killing people" and how that makes him the most bad of the bad. My question is, if that power allows him to kill all these villains solo, how come his dad never did the same thing to the heroes? It seems like Frank Millar had his Mary Sue, and it ruined the story. It does have its good moments, though. The only scene in the entire book that is memorable to me is when the Professor describes the rise of the villains. It seems to be the only part that was taken seriously during writing, and the panel with, as I like to call him, "non-superman" sitting and looking out the window is the only part that elicited an emotional reaction from me. Maybe if Wanted had run a bit longer the exposition would have come, but as is I think it suffers from being an incomplete work that had potential to actually be the Watchmen of supervillains.