If you have heard the hype, but are wondering if you should do it, whether that means to see a movie, read a book, or play a game, hopefully my opinions can help you decide.
The long and short of it: No When was it made: 2009
I know I've broken my cardinal rule by reviewing something that is only a year old, but I didn't have time for anything older this week, so nya.
Developed by Ensemble Studios, Halo Wars is the odd-man-out of the Halo family as it is the only RTS (real-time strategy) in the series. It is the story of the Spirit of Fire and its crew as they covenant flood explosions... sorry, it's a Halo game. While the universe is incredibly in depth, it has the same story as EVERY Halo game. The saving grace of the Halo franchise is the game mechanics and style of play, which are absent in this game.
The game flew in a bit under the radar, but there is a bit of buzz still surrounding it simply because it is a Halo game. It also holds the distinguished honor of being a console RTS, something that sets it apart from a lot of other games. Now, especially in light of Halo: Reach, people are going back to previous games in the series, and Halo Wars comes up a bit.
This is a real time strategy game, so be prepared to sit up above the action instead of being in it. The game has its moments, but it is a RTS on a console: a game type that is notorious for only being good on PCs. Due to the lack of a mouse, unit selection is a huge pain in the ass, and the lack of a submenu makes unit control even more difficult. The number of times I have screamed at the screen because all of my units started running away because there is no "hold position" command makes my head spin: it also makes the game into a war of attrition instead of strategy. Pump out units, throw them at enemy. Every time. The only reason this game is worth playing is if you have friends playing. So if you have friends who want to play with you and don't mind an RTS on a console, then put in Halo Wars. But if you like RTS because of the strategy and control it gives to your armies, than stick to the PC.
Now I have had fun with this game, don't get me wrong, and it is fun to play with friends, but the fact of the matter is that there are games that play better on consoles and there are games that play better on PCs, and while this is mostly decided on a game by game basis, there is one type of game that is always better on PC: real-time strategy. The game does have its moments, and the game where the enemy sent 3 scarabs after me in one round will live in my group of friends for a long time, and Halo Wars did a good job addressing the major issue consoles suffer when doing RTS, but putting chocolate on a piece of white cake does not devil's food cake make. If you want to play a good RTS with friends, then get a good PC game-no amount of tweaking with mechanics will make a console RTS as good.
The long and short of it: No When was it made: 1986
Developed by Chunsoft and published by Enix, Dragon Warrior is the first of the Dragon Quest games which, while not as popular in America, are still very popular in Japan. This one features a descendant of the hero Erdrick as he ventures forth from Castle Tantegel to rescue Princess Gwaelin and defeat the mighty Dragon Lord. It's story is traditional fare and it features a fun element of exploration, but it's age shows during gameplay. This doesn't suffer from the same problems as Final Fantasy-on the contrary individual encounters are very short-but it's own flaws, namely the hours of grinding and bad interface make this not worth playing to the modern player.
This game is not only famous for starting the Dragon Warrior series, but for being the father of console RPG. It was not the first created, but it was the first to combine many of the features that would become staples of the RPG genre for the next 10 to 20 years. It is also one of the oldest RPGs for the NES system. It's also been remade several times, so some people may want to experience the original.
This game is so by the book that you almost have to flip pages to play it. You rescue a princess from a dragon, you're the descendant of a great hero, you're the only hope, etc. And it does it well, too. The exploration is actually difficult, but there was no point where I needed to look up any hints. However, the interface is very poor, and you have to use a menu to speak, use stairs, open doors, and search, instead of making these functions automatic. Also, leveling goes so slowly that there wasn't a part I didn't have to grind: no dungeon adequately leveled me for the next dungeon (or even the next level in the same dungeon sometimes). So if you want the nerd points of having beat the original, go for it. But other than nostalgia, there is really no reason to play this game.
Don't get me wrong, I liked the game. It was fun to actually have to think and explore the map, but towards the end I was playing it just so I could say I beat it. I knew where the story was going: I was going to save the maid and ride off into the sunset. Duh. I don't think I should have to level grind for 3-5 hours just to get a "congraturations" and a pat on the back. I heard that the re-release for the gameboy fixed this problem, so if you have to play this game play that version. But as for the original, it was tedious to control and tedious to finish. And combat was so repetitive that once you hit a certain level you could play the game with one of those bobbing desk toys. The boss was difficult because he was hard to damage and hit big, not because of any stunning attack combos or clever defenses-it was essentially just Nameless bashing a brick wall until it gave him the Orb of Light. It was cool to have a bad guy offer for you to join and actually let you join instead of a "but thou must" situation, but even then just ending the game instead of giving an evil ending was kind of a cop out. All in all it was good for its time, but that time has gone and let new games with better gameplay and stories take its place.
The long and short of it: Probably When was it made: 1986
Created by ShigeruMiyamoto as an homage to his childhood years exploring the woods and caves around Kyoto, The Legend of Zelda has expanded into an empire rivaling even the Mario games. Although the future games in the series would change the model of play drastically, this first game is notorious for being incredibly open ended and difficult. Fruitless hours may be spent scouring the map, but once you've finally found your way into Ganon's lair and made him esplode (into a mildly disturbing yet hilarious cloud of gore) you will feel a real sense of accomplishment that you just don't get with a lot of the video games today where they lead you by the hand: the game is difficult, but not arbitrary.
Being 23 years old the game may seem like it's irrelevant, however Zelda is one of those titles that every older "hardcore" gamer has beat. People talk about the hours they spent scouring the maps for secret stores and treasure (in fact this game is the reason Nintendo Power exists: before the internet you had only your friends and developer produced hints to guide you). Also, those who have played later entries in the series may want to try their hand at the golden-cartridged god.
This game is your standard 2-D Zelda game, with the sword on B and the Triforce spread across 8 dungeons, but don't let that fool you into thinking this is exactly like those games. First and foremost the story is a bit sparse, with none of the villages common to every other game in the series. Shops are distributed at random throughout the map, but the best ones are under Armos statues or bushes. Also, don't just go gallivanting into every dungeon you find: there is no frame here and so you may end up in the ball smasher dungeon with only 3 hearts and a lot of ambition. Most of the best equipment in the game isn't given to you right of the bat or in the course of normal play, so be prepared to explore every dungeon and all the world map. I don't even remember anyone in the game mentioning using the silver arrows to kill Ganon: I just knew what to do from prior experience. So if you want to run around Hyrule in a slightly lower resolution than you're used to (and with the inability to lift pots and shrubs) and don't mind a steep learning curve and lots of world exploration, grab a strategy guide and go (and trust me, you'll need that strategy guide). However, if you can't stand older games, demand in depth story, or hate exploration, than stick to the more standard modern fare.
I personally really enjoyed the game because the lack of story was replaced by a completely open world where the only thing inhibiting my progress was my lack of knowledge of the world around me, but I can see many reasons that modern gamers would actually hate the game. Many necessary hints are hidden or badly translated (or not given at all) and that makes the game very difficult. As a point of reference, I have played this game twice. The first time I used no strategy guide and only defeated 5 of the dungeons with 23 deaths, no magic sword, and no idea where the last 2 dungeons were (the 6th dungeon I knew where it was but was unable to beat it because I lacked several items). The second time I used a strategy guide and beat the game with every item and only 3 deaths. Now granted, with more time I could have beat it the first playthrough (I found the 8th dungeon on my own in the second playthrough) but I am just illustrating the biggest difference between this game (and most older games) and the modern games many of us are more used to. Keeping this in mind, though, the game is not so hard that you'll never beat it and it was fun to have a challenge in a Zelda game again, something that this series tends to hit and miss on. Also, like-likes are total dicks.
The long and short of it: Probably not When was it made: 2006
Christophe Gans has the potential to be either a fantastic adapter of darker video games to film or the Uwe Boll of horror(and I really hope it turns out to be the first), but his first foray into the video game world, Silent Hill, catches the scenery but not the point. When I watch horror I want one of two things: to be genuinely scared or to receive a new insight into the human condition. Silent Hill delivers the first one for the first bit of the movie and acts like it covers the second during the end of the movie, but neither one really pans out.
Silent Hill is based on a game franchise that is still in existence, so chances are if you play video games you've heard at least the name, and as a gamer I know I try to catch video game movies so I can see how badly they flubbed up the interpretation. With a second movie in the pipeline, some people may be interested in catching up on the first movie or seeing why they're going ahead with a second: although the movie panned out critically it still did make a profit.
Now let me remind you that this is a horror film and while not a gorno it does involve it's fair share of violence and viscera (if you couldn't tell from the picture above). Also, even though I do complain that the movie wasn't very scary throughout, it does have its tense scenes and some rather disturbing visuals, so if you don't like scary movies than back away. They do (kind of?) deal with some religious issues, but I don't think it's a problem: they don't really deal with any real world religions and there are no qualms that it is the people involved and not religion itself that is shown as evil. So if you want a moderate scare and some very good scenery and shot set ups, than feel free to watch Silent Hill. But if you are looking for something absolutely terrifying or a movie up to your eyes with blood and tits, then move along, stranger.
Alright, you can probably guess I wasn't a big fan of the movie, but mostly because it felt like they walked to the precipice of making a great film, looked over the edge, had a picnic, and then went back to mediocre town for ice cream and post production. I'd like to discuss this movie in terms of my criteria for scary media: terror and insight. First, terror. For the first hour, the movie is genuinely terrifying. It uses a great sense of suspense and isolation to create an atmosphere both isolation and claustrophobia: no matter how big the town actually is, there was always a sense that you were alone in a cage. I love that every time the air-raid sirens sounded, I immediately felt scared. I knew that was the time of monsters, when no one was safe and anything could happen. And then they stopped. An hour in, they took what had been the most terrifying feature of the movie, the sense that at any time the world could be devoured by hell, and just stopped using it. Sure, they travel down into "hell" on the elevator, but even that world isn't as scary because you knew it was coming. You knew she was getting on in the real world and exiting in hell, but it was her choice. This is also the point when Rose meets other people and the movie becomes much more about her interactions with them then about her trying to figure out what's going on all by herself, proving that when isolation is a big theme, you don't put in a bunch of extra characters. Now secondly, we have the psychological aspect: what can I take away from this movie? Not a thing. Because this is a movie about monsters (who is the real monster, yaddayadda) the forms these monsters take is of vital importance, and they start out with the best monsters: the crying children monsters represent Rose's both her fear for her daughter and her projected feeling of isolation she knows Sharon must be feeling. And it goes downhill from there. Pyramid Head is here, probably the second best monster because he represents the most potent manifestation of the town's vengeance, but even then they don't use him well: in the final scene (where all the vengeance takes place, mind you) he doesn't even make an appearance. After that we have nurse monsters because, you know... nurses represent lost children and vengeance? All I'm saying is that instead of aping the video games, if they'd actually put a few seconds thought into it they could have created some very good and poignant monsters. Finally, I'd like to address the biggest disappointment, the final scene. I've already mentioned my dismay at the absence of Mr. Vengeance himself, but it goes so much further than that. I'll try to be spoiler free, but suffice it to say that there is a (ostensibly Christian) cult in the town that has pissed off the malevolent spirit (the nature of which is the big "surprise" that I'd figured out 2o minutes in) and at the end of the movie, the malevolent spirit arrives and enacts its Pyramid-Head-free vengeance. Two things: first of all, never base your movie climax on tentacle-rape hentai. Even before I knew it actually was I still felt kind of awkward during that scene. Secondly, you've already made it obvious this is a religious group, why'd you sissy out on the symbolism? When the spirit arrived Gans had an amazing opportunity to have it show up, arms out stretched, cross of living barbwire making it into a twisted version of Christ and the true being that these fallen souls worship. Instead the spirit sits with arms folded, seemingly contemptuous of the many ways this fell short of greatness.
Note: Excuse my rambling rant here, this is just a practice to get me back into the swing of things. Expect a new review on Saturday, hopefully more compressed and with less vitriole!
The long and short of it: Yes When was it made: Started in 2003, new series are still made
Made by Rooster Teeth (yeah, if you didn't already know this is not the most intellectually sophisticated property) using games from the Halo series, Red vs Blue follows two sets of incompetent soldiers as they blindly stumble through improbable situations with only their snappy comebacks and swearing to protect them. While the first few episodes suffer from poor sound quality and some long silences, pretty soon things pick up and hilarity ensues almost constantly; out of 100 episodes-the majority of which are only 5 minutes, so don't worry about this taking your life away-I can't find one that doesn't make me laugh.
If you've seen one show made with video games, odds are it was Red vs Blue. It is by far the most famous machinima(movie made with a video game) out there, having made machinima popular before most people even knew it existed. Red vs Blue is also the most successful, making Rooster Teeth into a successful company. Unlike most shows of this kind, Red vs Blue is well shot, has good voice acting, and is well written and timed, making it one of the only machinima worth watching.
Red vs Blue is incredibly hilarious, but the original series is a bit lacking in the plot department. Not that there isn't a story, but it is so convoluted that you shouldn't worry about it, just get the laughs. Now these are adults using adult language, so this isn't for younger people or those offended by swearing. If you're looking for a hilarious comedy with no real thinking required, then watch RvB. If you want a good story and hate swearing, the original series isn't for you, though the newer RvB series have more story to them and are just as hilarious.
I am a big Red vs Blue fanboy, I'll admit. I try to watch every episode, and I have seen most of Rooster Teeth's other stuff too. It really is a great series, and the 5 minute episodes allow you to watch an episode or two even if you're crunched for time. Also, while there is a bit of slapstick and visual humor, a lot of the gags are character or conversation driven, so it makes great background noise, too. There are so many good characters, but for me the funniest will always be Caboose. Tucker's "lady's man" attitude and Sarge's bloodlust are both well played, but Caboose's innocent stupidity-of which he is oddly aware-allows him some of the funniest moments, like when he avoids a pregnant character because "I do not want to catch pregnancy!" The original series is also on YouTube, so there really is no excuse not to at least try the show. I'm sure you'll love it.
The long and short of it: Probably not When was it made: 1987 (Japanese release), 1990 (American release)
Developed by Squaresoft before it joined up with Enix to form SquareEnix, Final Fantasy was the first game in the Final Fantasy franchise (I would say series, but it has it's own line of drinks now, so, franchise). The game has defined RPGs for the last 20 years, establishing the concepts of parties, classes, and levels. Well, ripping them off is more accurate. The game plays very much like video D&D, going so far as having spell levels and spell slots, an interesting system that most future games have abandoned (even D&D has left it in the dust). While fun, this game suffers a lot of the problems of being a first: while the combat mechanics are mostly pretty solid, character interactions are far from complicated. The only time your characters names are even mentioned are in the menus, but at the time that didn't really matter.
The original Final Fantasy doesn't get too much hype, I'll admit. However, the main series is 12 games strong and still going and there are several side projects with multiple games under their belts. This legacy, combined with several remakes, has kindled a little curiosity into some as to what the original game was like, and whether they should play it.
First of all, unless you have a ton of money, you're best bet is to get a rom. The game still sells for 20-60 bucks used, quite a feat considering most NES games go for less than a dollar. Ooh, that reminds me, you'll need an NES too, though more and more independant companies are making new, better consoles that run older cartridge games for those people like me who never sold or threw away the old NES and SNES games. Now, this is an old game, and it runs a bit slow. Combat can get pretty tedious sometimes: to be honest, when I play a rom of this game the fast forward button is my greatest friend. Also, the graphics aren't that great, and because this is one of those older games, they don't tell you where to go. You have a mission, and an overall idea of what you're supposed to be doing, but you had better talk to everybody in town and be prepared to do a lot of exploring-the strategy guide can be your best friend, as can Let's Play videos on youtube (HCBailly is awesome, I'd watch his). So if you really like old games, and you're looking for one with a lot of walking and fighting to spend a good chunk of time on, get the original Final Fantasy. If you want a quick paced no brainer, must have good graphics, or hate older games in general, avoid this game.
Now I personally liked the game. But I am not everyone when it comes to these things. I don't mind sitting around for long periods of time and I don't usually get frustrated when I get stuck and have to go talk to everyone I've met to pick up a missing clue. That being said, most people shouldn't play it. It was great at the time, but a lot of its biggest flaws are those things that plague all older games. If you absolutely must play this game, I would actually recommend a remake. Personally I think FF: Origins is the best remake because it updates a lot of the flaws by improving combat speed, graphics, and dialogue, while leaving the game at it's core mostly untouched. It is still pretty difficult and requires some grinding. I would not recommend the GBA version because they replaced the spell slot system with a MP system, making you able to use way more spells, which then had to be nerfed, and making most of the monsters very pathetic. Those were actually my favorite moments in the original game, when I'd save my Black Mage's spells, rendering him practically useless for a lot of fights, and then a boss would appear and I'd unleash him, turning him from marginally useful to my biggest damage dealer. It really cheapens the experience by taking a game that's difficult in a fun way and making it super easy. So, to wrap this up, if you feel the need to see where it all started, find a copy of FF: Origins to get all the experience with far fewer of the problems.
The long and short of it: Yes When was it made: 2007
Portal was developed by one of my favorite companies, Valve, and follows the adventures of a nameless protagonist and her very special gun. It is a beautiful game with backgrounds that are simple yet expressive. Honestly, I had heard so much about this game by the time I finally got around to downloading it that I was certain there was no way for it to live up to my expectations. Not only did it live up to them, it exceeded them in every way. The game is very short, I'll give that to you, but would you rather have an ounce of gold or a pound of copper? The portal mechanic is done incredibly well, and the game guides you in such a way that it remains intuitive.
I heard about this game entirely through hype. Around the time of its release, I was inundated with companion cubes and bogus cakes from sites that had never before even mentioned video games. It has received critical acclaim for its gameplay and for its story. For a game with zero exposition and only one speaking character, the story is very enjoyable. If someone has quoted a scene from a video game to you in the last two years, there is a good chance it is from Portal.
The game, originally only available through the Orange Box, is now available for PC and XBox, so if you don't game on either of those, find a friend who does so you can play this game. It is a bit short, but the challenge maps adds on a bit of time, albeit without the story and without GLaDOS. It does have some moments that get a little fast and hectic, so if you suffer very easily from motion sickness you may want to play this at an appropriate distance from the screen. If you're looking for a fun game that's well written and designed, go for it. If you hate video games or hate even the simplest of puzzles, you are the only people I wouldn't recommend this to.
I personally think this game is awesome. I did get stuck really bad once, but in this modern age of youtube there is no excuse for not beating the game and enjoying it immensely. Ellen McClain did a fantastic job as the facility AI, and has some of the best lines in any video game. They did it right by hiring an actual voice actor and writers instead of having coders write crappy dialogue and plugging it into a voice program. The mechanics are great, but they establish a great atmosphere. Because the game is so short, it is hard to discuss my favorite moment without ruining a surprise for you, but one I like occurs when you have received the portal gun and GLaDOS nonchalantly mentions how the gun is now worth more than the lives and possessions of everyone in your home town. This game is so different that I don't think it should be the first game you ever play, but if you've played any other video game before the next game you play needs to be Portal.
The long and short of it: Yes. When was it made: 2005
Produced by Double Fine Productions, Psychonauts is an incredibly fun and infuriating experience. A mix of original gameplay, fun story, and hilarious absurdity, it is just a bundle of fun for the money. The first half of the game is relentless. I would start to play after breakfast, go to work, and stride over to the XBox immediately after coming home. I was laughing almost constantly at the antics of the characters, and even my dear old mother would chuckle at snippets of dialogue as she walked past. The humor is character driven to, so you don't have to be a gamer or a certain kind of fanboy to get it and it isn't reduced to puns and fart noises (though there is some word play, like having to literally sort some characters emotional baggage).
The game, though a financial flop when first released, has started to catch on among gamers. It is definitely not a mainstream release, but that's pretty obvious once you notice the presence of wit and the lack of grit. It is available for download on the XBox live marketplace and through Steam, so you don't even have to pry yourself off the couch/beanbag/innertube to enjoy it on PC or XBox 360.
Being a video game, if you don't like video games, you won't like this. Also, it may be light hearted and silly, but it is by no means a casual game. The puzzles require some thinking, but don't break the brain. Some of the levels, especially towards the end of the game, can get incredibly frustrating. The very last level is so frustrating that it almost ruined the game for me. If I didn't consider it a cardinal sin of games, I would recommend playing up to the last level, and then watching the ending on YouTube. The leveling mechanic is interesting and simple, and only once or twice did I get lost. If you want a fun and funny platformer and are willing to put up with some frustrating fights and levels, then this game is a must play. If you are looking for a bloody shoot-'em-up or a more serious title, then this isn't the game.
As I said, this game was hilarious. That may be part of the reason the end became tedious-whereas the difficult platforming in previous levels may or may not have been just as annoying, it was tempered with interesting characters and charming dialogue-I had a hard time with the theater puzzle, but the concept that the mind of an insane diva would be a failing theater dominated by a harsh critic made me love it more for it's difficulty, and made the constant switching of sets contextually relevant. The game had a great mix of light-heartedness laid over a dark subtext, and dealt with it in a unique way. My favorite environment was the mind of a conspiracy theorist, which was a normal neighborhood twisted around and filled with secret agents who would disguise themselves by carrying road signs and saying "I am a construction worker" all the while dressed in trenchcoats and fedoras to hide their features. Each of the minds are a unique crazy-house, and a joy to experience, which is a great way to describe the game as a whole.
